Rules 4 Dating

Currently, I am in my late 20's and single. I have no clue why I am the girl to girl for  relationship/dating advice, but I am. Go figure! I THINK I have this dating thing down to a science. I say THINK, because hey we don't  know what we don't know.  After evaluating my dating life, I came up with these 4 rules to follow. This is just a theory, I haven't tested enough to make it a fact...lol. These rules can be applied to any type of  "Ship". Whether its a friendship, relationship, companionship, fianceship, booty callship, etc. Applying these rules will allow you the pleasure of putting your "Ship" into perspective in the very beginning with the end product of  you not having a sinking ship (there's that scientist in me again).

The Rules

#1

 Know Your Position

 Have you heard guys use the phrase "Know your position"? I use to think these guys were jerks, but they are right!  Know what position the person is looking for and what position you want in their life.  Let me clarify what I mean by position. Position is a metaphor for the type of "Ship". Some men are looking for mistress(es) a booty call(s), a permanent girlfriend, a wife, etc. Now, the BIG question is , "How do I know what the guy is looking for?". That's easy, ASK!! Yup, it's that easy. These questions occur during the getting to know you phase. Just as easy as breathing. You want to ask these questions effortlessly as if your asking about the weather. It is ok to be direct. For example, "Do you have a girlfriend?","Are you seeing anyone?", "Are you in a committed relationship?", "What are you looking for?"...whichever way you want to say it.  As long as you do not ask those questions all at once like an interrogation. Many times communicating with the other person they more or less tell you what they want without you having to ask. So, it is very important to listen to them. From that point you will be able to communicate and creating a comfortable environment by discussing what you want...That way there isn't any confusion on the type of relationship you both are entering, if any.

#2

 Don't Be In D.E.N.I.A.L 

Don't lie to yourself or be in D.E.N.I.A.L. As my Grandfather would say, "Some people are in D.E.N.I.A.L, Don't Even kNow I Am Lying.". If you have to ask your friends about what type of relationship you have with the other person, then there is something that's being lost in translation. Believe his actions and what he is saying. Don't try to evaluate the situation to make yourself feel better about the relationship. Trust your instincts. Generally, when a person asks others about a relationship, they are asking in hopes that at least one person will tell them what they want to hear.

#3

Have An Understanding Before Sex

 Never Ever Ever have sex with a guy before you have an understanding of the type of relationship you are entering. Make sure you are comfortable with it. This is a deal breaker. All bets are off  if your position is not confirmed. This totally sounds like applying for a job. Technically, it is...lol.

#4

Make An Informed Decision

 Make an informed decision, make sure you are comfortable with it and stick to it. Asses the relationship, evaluate the pro's and con's, measure the risk and be in the "Know" of what your dealing with it.


These rules have been working so far for me. I will continue to blog about my relationships and see if its flawed in any way... 

Til next time...

Goodbye 2011

This year started off rough. I had a heart break that I didn't think I was EVER going to recover from. First one, out of my 28 years of living. I didn't see it coming. At least when you see it coming, you can brace yourself. I learned a valuable lesson. Don't date co-workers!!! What are those infamous lines from  the movie Baby Boy, "Not with that bitch!...With someone at my job?...Out of all people,why'd you have to fuck that girl? Damn!"  I mean I should have learned that lesson already. But, everyone has their moments. I just wish I didn't learn this one 300 miles from home in a job market that's scarces.

With help of friends and family, I was back into the swing of things! The summer was a freaking BLAST!!! I had plenty of visitors from home to keep me company and not too mention the beaches, pools, travelers, tourists, and bike parties kept me occupied. I had my first experience at Joe's Crab shack with my traveling buddy, and wonderful R&R. It didn't hurt that the pool was about 10ft from my door. The Beyonce album 4 was released, it was one of her best albums thus far...Loved it. With my awesome threesome made it a 4th I will never forget!!!! Kirb-a-peel and the side eye became infamous phrases and #s, at least in our world.

The year just got better and better. I reconnected with one of my bestie, and she made the transition back home very warm and welcoming.....and I ended up dating A Boy In A Blue Dress...lol #fail. An experience that I could say the least was eventful.

This year was definitely one for the books and I will never forget it. I have so many great things to look forward to in 2012.  All of these events were vital in refining the infamous Pretty P. I am incredibly grateful for all of my experiences.

I thank God for giving me the ability to be delivered from every situation. We know that God has the power of deliverance but some people lack the strength to be delivered.


Epiphany/Promise: For the new year, choose wisely.

Have A Happy New Year!!!!!!

A Boy In A Blue Dress

Well, Well, Well...

We all have our stories about failed relationships. Generally we start off the story with; Let me tell you about this: two timing Ho, M***Effer, or B*** think I'm Stupid and so on and so forth. Well...I'm starting off  this story with, let me tell you about A Boy In A Blue Dress.

I met this boy in blue at a lounge close to downtown. He was sitting at the bar and eyed me from a far. His waves were deep. His haircut was neat. His pants were pulled up, his shirt tucked in, with a pair of fresh Salvatore Ferragamo's and getting it in. His name was Lew and we exchanged numbers. 

He had the car, the loft downtown, the status, and he was well known. He made an impression on everyone he encountered. He was "the Man" that every young woman would dream of. Motivated, ambitious, over achiever. The time had come for us to be one. The date was set, the mood was right and we had a magical night. In the morning, I went into the bathroom and there set a small partially used bottle of body wash was on the bathroom tubs corner. I looked at the shower head and there hung a bright neon pink loofah and a MAC eyeshadow on the stand. At this moment, I start to breathe heavy and say all types of profanity. I paused, took a deep breathe, exited the bathroom to go to talk to him. He lays in the bed all warmed and snuggled under the covers with a grin. I tap him and he awakes with a smile and kisses me on my chinny chin chin. I smile and ask can I take a shower. He says sure towels and wash clothes are in the closet in the bin. I ask him if he could show me where, he replies oh ok darling I will take you there. We walk in the bathroom together and I watch his reaction. I run the bath water and touch the body wash. He looks up with out hesitation, no visibly expressed reaction . So, I turn and say Lew whats up with the loofah and shower gel over there?. He states that its his and he loves the smell in his hair. I turn to the eyeshadow and he says its his sisters. He says don't worry babe your the only woman I'm after. I sit and think for a minute, against my own intuition. I'm pleased with his answer and we have no more conversations thereafter.
Thanksgiving approaches, the family is excited to meet Lew. He has to work that night, it was just a fluke. As the men start to hear the women talk about this young man that there niece is dating, they run to the medium that tells the who's who of the world while it automously updates every second of the day, the internet. To the Internet they go! They look him up and see all the wonderful things this young man has accomplished. One of them says let me do it. And they let him in to see what he will accomplish. He types this  mans name but adds "is gay". Low and behold a website appears. With the young mans full name, address, even his low cut beard. The website states that he is not only a lover of men but a stalker...Appauled and confused. I run to the phone to tell the girls of this  news. Out of all the excitement, I run to text a friend. I type "We just found out Lew is bisexual." and press send.  I start to look down at the phone again...I look again, and again, and again. I say to myself this can not be, Did I just text Lew that message and not to my friend Key. I did text that message to Lew and not Key. 45 seconds pass by with me breathing hard, panicking, and wishing I had phoned a friend. I sent another message that said"Someone just sent me that. Why would someone say that to me?" After hours, of waiting on a response from Lew. He responds with a laugh like Saint Nick and asked Who told you that, boo? With shock and horror I told him we should chill. Later, I found a picture of him in a BLUE DRESS and he had that brown eyes hadow from MAC called caress.


Epiphany: If you find some feminine products in your beautifully groomed mans home it may not be another woman. He maybe A BOY IN A BLUE DRESS.

My Fine Love

At first he was fine, then divine

After 8 hours, he felt like mine

Representing qualities of men I respected

Our spirits connected

Everything was ok, until that not so fine day

With heart broken, I could not stay

In irony, that very betrayal brought us back together

Second time, it didn't matter.

Love and I battled it out in the ring

Going all 10 rounds, each hit was a sting

The battle was gruesome. After the smoke cleared and punches were counted.

Love won.

I felt weak, with no energy to dispute it.

I was his and he was mine I could not compute it.

I realized the hurt and the love I have for him are paired forever.

At times one out shines the other, but they are meant to be together

Fine love.

Love defeated me but the questions consumed me.

Do I take the journey alone or allow for his love to join me?

Can we get it together?

Will he be honest with me, forever?

Were we once one in a past?

Are we those two star-crossed lovers that will last?

Love?

I've never thought I could feel this deep.  

My soul mate, my love, the cost is a little steep.

Our two spirits connected on a level that I can not understand

I have melted in his hands

He is My Fine Love

Fitness Challenge

So, a very close friend of mine had a BRILLIANT idea that we should do 96 days of Fitness. Those that chose to participate created there own fitness goals. I decided that I want to lose 40lbs. To obtain this reasonable goal in 96 days, I decided to make healthier decisions in my everyday life. For example: taking the stairs vs. taking the elevator, drinking water vs. soft drinks, or picking up the pace when running errands around the lab.

Today was my first day of my 96 days of Fitness Challenge. The day got off to a slow start. I ran a little late for work. I ended up parking on the roof of the parking garage. In my mind, I'm optimistically thinking perfect I get to start my day off by running down the stairs. Awesome, I can do this! The other great thing for me is that I work with Dr. Speedy Gonzalez. Fortunately for me, I've been collaborating with her for a week and I'm use to her fast pace working routine. The day is going great! I ran down the stairs, it took me 5 minutes to get to the lab versus 10 minutes and I'm keeping up with Speedy. The day is coming to an end and its time to head to the car. Well, I walk to the garage and head up the stairs. Here I go... 2nd Floor, I can feel the burn, 3rd floor Whoa! what a workout, 4th floor Oh Em Gee!! You have got to be kidding me. 5th Floor, Where the hell is that Roof Top. 6th Floor my legs are killing me and I am out of breath...Roof Top, THANK YOU GOD!!! By this time, I am out of breath, breathing hard and looking a bit disheveled. As I step onto the roof top, there is a woman walking out of the elevator. I quickly stop breathing, walk upright, hold my tummy in and begin to walk briskly as if it is a beautiful day in the neighborhood.  After I get further enough out of her sight, I begin my heavy breathing again and hunch over...To my surprise another woman doing GOD KNOWS WHAT in her vehicle I'm quickly approaching. As I approach her, I stop breathing, walk upright, and walk briskly and think to myself its a beautiful day in the neighborhood. I thought I was going to pass out! On top of it all I cant find my DAYUM car. What a first day of my 96 days of Fitness Challenge!!!

So, I guess I have to come up with an Epiphany since my title is Pretty P's Epiphany... so lets see

Epiphany: Perseverance is the key :-). I will continue to park on the roof top and not let the stairs beat me!!! Yay for me thinking optimistically!!! Lets see how long this last...

Pretty P.

Welcome to my Blog

I think Jenifer Hudson says it best " I, I, I've been through some things. Please don't hold that against me."

I created this blog, because I need a healthy outlet that doesn't leave me hung over, in jail, or in some kind of psycho ward.

A couple of circumstances, let me rephrase that, SEVERAL CONSISTENT circumstances has lead me wanting to change how I view and interact with relationships. Not just intimate relationships but relationships with people in general. If you are asking yourself,  " Why would I be doing so or what is her motivation?". Well, what had happened was...Ok, no for real. The straw that broke that camels back was my recent interactions with a guy.  Yes, if you are thinking this is another girl that is mad that some guy broke her heart and now she is motivated to write a blog. Well, sir or madam you are correct. But, that is not the only reason. I've been told on many occasions that my life is like a Soap Opera. At one time, I thought I should create my own reality TV show but um...NO! Friends would kill me (because I would be exposing their skeletons), my family would disown me and I would just be too embarrassed to really show my natural self. So, I have resulted in Blogging. This allows for me to tell the story how Pretty P sees it. Omitting the things that I feel is unnecessary, naturally leaving me looking like the victim or the heroin...lol (joking...a little). I will make this promise to the reader. I promise to tell the story as truthful as possible. I will ATTEMPT to tell you everything, but I will replace the real names with fake ones to protect the GUILTY.

I have purposefully left out who I am because I will save that for another day another blog.

Now, let the journey begin. Enjoy:-)