A Boy In A Blue Dress

Well, Well, Well...

We all have our stories about failed relationships. Generally we start off the story with; Let me tell you about this: two timing Ho, M***Effer, or B*** think I'm Stupid and so on and so forth. Well...I'm starting off  this story with, let me tell you about A Boy In A Blue Dress.

I met this boy in blue at a lounge close to downtown. He was sitting at the bar and eyed me from a far. His waves were deep. His haircut was neat. His pants were pulled up, his shirt tucked in, with a pair of fresh Salvatore Ferragamo's and getting it in. His name was Lew and we exchanged numbers. 

He had the car, the loft downtown, the status, and he was well known. He made an impression on everyone he encountered. He was "the Man" that every young woman would dream of. Motivated, ambitious, over achiever. The time had come for us to be one. The date was set, the mood was right and we had a magical night. In the morning, I went into the bathroom and there set a small partially used bottle of body wash was on the bathroom tubs corner. I looked at the shower head and there hung a bright neon pink loofah and a MAC eyeshadow on the stand. At this moment, I start to breathe heavy and say all types of profanity. I paused, took a deep breathe, exited the bathroom to go to talk to him. He lays in the bed all warmed and snuggled under the covers with a grin. I tap him and he awakes with a smile and kisses me on my chinny chin chin. I smile and ask can I take a shower. He says sure towels and wash clothes are in the closet in the bin. I ask him if he could show me where, he replies oh ok darling I will take you there. We walk in the bathroom together and I watch his reaction. I run the bath water and touch the body wash. He looks up with out hesitation, no visibly expressed reaction . So, I turn and say Lew whats up with the loofah and shower gel over there?. He states that its his and he loves the smell in his hair. I turn to the eyeshadow and he says its his sisters. He says don't worry babe your the only woman I'm after. I sit and think for a minute, against my own intuition. I'm pleased with his answer and we have no more conversations thereafter.
Thanksgiving approaches, the family is excited to meet Lew. He has to work that night, it was just a fluke. As the men start to hear the women talk about this young man that there niece is dating, they run to the medium that tells the who's who of the world while it automously updates every second of the day, the internet. To the Internet they go! They look him up and see all the wonderful things this young man has accomplished. One of them says let me do it. And they let him in to see what he will accomplish. He types this  mans name but adds "is gay". Low and behold a website appears. With the young mans full name, address, even his low cut beard. The website states that he is not only a lover of men but a stalker...Appauled and confused. I run to the phone to tell the girls of this  news. Out of all the excitement, I run to text a friend. I type "We just found out Lew is bisexual." and press send.  I start to look down at the phone again...I look again, and again, and again. I say to myself this can not be, Did I just text Lew that message and not to my friend Key. I did text that message to Lew and not Key. 45 seconds pass by with me breathing hard, panicking, and wishing I had phoned a friend. I sent another message that said"Someone just sent me that. Why would someone say that to me?" After hours, of waiting on a response from Lew. He responds with a laugh like Saint Nick and asked Who told you that, boo? With shock and horror I told him we should chill. Later, I found a picture of him in a BLUE DRESS and he had that brown eyes hadow from MAC called caress.


Epiphany: If you find some feminine products in your beautifully groomed mans home it may not be another woman. He maybe A BOY IN A BLUE DRESS.